May 29, 2004
Lorn Cartwright Jaeger
On the occasion of his Dedication
Dear Lorn:
I write this letter to you on the eve of your child dedication. I have asked your parents to hold this letter and give it to you at the time of your Coming of Age (or when you enter high school). I plan on being there to give you this letter personally, but given the uncertainties of life, I figure that we must plan ahead.
As I am sure your parents have told you, you are named after your great grandfather, Lorn Carl Jaeger (the fact you have the same middle initial was purely coincidental, I am told). He was a good and honorable man who you never came to know, as he died some 6 years before you were born. He would have been proud and happy to have a great grandson with his name (and red hair) I am sure. (As you may know, your Uncle Andy’s middle name is Lorn). I also want you to know that your great grandfather, Bill Petersen, who is blessed to be with you this weekend is also a good and honorable man.
I write this letter in the tradition of the “ethical will”. It is a Jewish custom where one in an older generation passes his or her values to those who are younger for their consideration. It is my hope to communicate my values on to you, not that you will mindlessly follow them, but that you will give them consideration as coming from an adoring grandfather.
I first wish for you to be honorable—a person who honors his words and commitments to others, no matter how difficult that can be at times. One thing that we are all required to give and entitled to receive is respect-but that must be earned by our conduct and our character. And respect comes as much from how you treat others as how they treat you.
I wish for you to be happy. Happiness is an elusive quality—it can come from many sources but most importantly it must come from within you and is the product of knowing yourself and where you fit into this world.
I call upon you to be of service to others—a characteristic that I am sure you will learn from your parents. I can truly say that the best times of my life were those when I was able to act for the betterment of others and the community in which I live. Find those opportunities for yourself and take them.
I call upon you to be daring—to take risks (at least not foolish ones) and to try to spread your wings. In reviewing my life, I can say that some of the best things I ever did were those times when I pushed myself beyond what I thought were my limits or things I thought I could do.
And finally, I call upon you to love—your parents, your family, your friends, and at some point your life partner and yourself. Love is what makes it all worthwhile.
When you were born and I saw you for the first time, it is hard to describe my feelings for in your eyes I saw the true meaning of eternity, the feeling that some part of me will be carried on to another generation and that I may be able to make some small amount of difference. I hope that the time will come when you will have the same opportunity.
I hope for you to be around when the time comes for this letter to be delivered to you. I hope to be around as you grow and mature and that I can get to know you and you to know me. But whether that happens or not, it is my wish and prayer for you that your years may be all that I have hoped and wished for you and that we may spend much time together getting to know one another. For now, I offer you a grandfather’s blessing on this big day in your life.
Love,
Grandpa Jim
My grandpa suffered from dementia through my late teens and early 20s, so I ended up getting this letter just about a month ago. I hope you can take something from this for yourself.
Best,
Lorn
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